Marriage Coaching

 Understanding Relationship Coaching

The goal of our coaching is to empower and inspire you, not to dictate or advise as an expert. However, clients often need specialized skills and information to be successful in achieving their goals. The art of coaching and relationship coaching involves facilitating learning while holding our client as the expert on their life and what works for them. What follows are some guidelines we have developed to help conceptualize the role of the coach and client in relationship coaching.

v Relationship Coaching is not consulting or therapy.
Coaching empowers by assuming our clients are the experts, fully capable of achieving their goals, and focuses on supporting them into action. Consulting typically provides advice and solutions, while therapy typically focuses on insight and resolution of emotional issues. Because these approaches are so different, the coach should be clear about these distinctions, educate clients about them, and make clear choices about the nature of the coaching relationship that are in the best interests of our clients.

v A Relationship Coach helps the client focus on the bigger picture.
Relationship coaching is not effective when isolating our clients' relationship goals from the rest of their life, such as work, family, friends, wellness, spirituality, etc.

v A Relationship Coach shares relationship knowledge, experience, and information without attachment.
Sharing expertise with our clients as a coach is very different from any other helping relationship. It is necessary to address our clients' relationship skills and knowledge deficits; however, we do so in a way that supports them to discover and "own" their truth.

v A Relationship Coach assumes a relationship is part of the journey, not the destination.
We support our clients to focus on meaning, connection, and long-term goals, in addition to helping them find a partner or improve their existing relationships.

v A Relationship Coach assumes that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Our relationships are our mirrors. The Law of Attraction dictates that what is inside shows up on the outside. We help our clients take responsibility for their relationship outcomes and be the partner they want to have.

v A Relationship Coach does not judge a relationship as right or wrong, good or bad.
As stated above, we assume our clients are the experts and honor their truth and agenda. While we have judgments, we do not impose them on our clients. We lead our clients through a process of discovery in which they are empowered to make the relationship choices that are right for them.

v A Relationship Coach does not seek to get personal needs met with clients or prospective clients.
An ethical coach values being of service above all else, holds the coaching relationship sacred, and does not allow a personal agenda to interfere with doing so.

v A Relationship Coach addresses their clients' sabotaging attitudes and choices without making them wrong.
We assume that "attitude precedes outcome" and skillfully help our clients become aware of the connection between their attitudes (beliefs, interpretations, etc), choices and consequences. We support them in making their own judgments and decisions about their relationship choices in alignment with their Vision, Purpose, Requirements, Needs, and Goals.

v A Relationship Coach is neutral about the outcome for pre-committed relationships, and an advocate for committed relationships.
We value using the opportunity while single to make conscious long-term relationship choices, and believe in the power and necessity of commitment to make those choices work and be fulfilling.

v A Relationship Coach "walks the talk" by continually addressing his or her own personal and relationship development, challenges, and goals.
We know that we can only help our clients along paths that we have traveled ourselves, and no further, so we must continually strive to be conscious and intentional in our lives and relationships. This includes furthering our own learning and development by working with a coach or mentor, on-going training, and other means.

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e Our Approach f

we offer two possibilities:

1. "Empowering Couples"

Empowering Couples is built on over 20 years of clinical experience and research with couples. The foundation is the PREPARE/ENRICH Program, which is one of the most popular couple program used in the world. Over 45,000 counselors and clergy of all denominations have used this program with over 1,000,000 couples. This program has also been introduced into ten other countries.

The book focuses on the 10 most important areas of couple relationships including couple communication, conflict resolution, roles, finances, spiritual beliefs, sexuality, couple closeness and flexibility, parenting and couple goals.

Empowering Couples is based on a national survey of 21,501 married couples. This data was used to identify common stumbling blocks (issues) for couples. In addition, a comparison of happy and unhappy couples was done to identify the strengths of happy couples.

• Each Book Chapter Contains:
• Couple Quiz on chapter topic
• Common Stumbling Blocks (problematic issues)
• Stepping stones for building your couple strengths
• Couple discussion exercises

AUTHORS of Empowering Couples:

David H. Olson, Ph.D. is Professor, Family Social Science, University of Minnesota and is President of Life Innovations. He has received many awards from national organizations (AAMFT, AFTA, ACA, ACME and Penn State University) for his research and programs for couples and families. He is a Fellow and clinical member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy (AAMFT).  He has published over 20 books and 100 journal articles on marriage and the family. His recent books include: Building Relationship: Developing Skills for Life (1999) and Marriage and Family: Diversity and Strengths (2000). He has appeared on numerous talks shows including Oprah, CBS Morning Show and NBC Today Show.

Amy K. Olson-Sigg  is Research Associate at Life Innovations and enrolled in a Master's Marital and Family Therapy Program (MFT). She has co-authored several articles on the PREPARE/ENRICH Program. She is co-author of Building Relationships: Developing Skills for Life.

2. Personal Coach